Day 3 - A Memory

I remember it was late at night. I was with some of my college friends. There were eight of us, cramming inside a car. We were on our way back home from Batu, Malang.

I remember it was loud. We were screaming at each other, cracking jokes after jokes as if we never ran out of things to laugh about.

I remember my head hurt from laughing so much even though I can’t remember why we were laughing. But until this day, I think it’s the only kind of pain I don’t mind having. 

I remember the year was 2014. We all just graduated from college and decided to go on a trip together. One last hurrah before we finally went our own ways to step into adulthood.

I remember being so carefree, like I couldn’t care less about anything else, like I had nothing to be worried about.

I remember it was the last time I felt that way. These days I feel like I’m always on the edge. Even when something good happens, there’s this voice inside my head telling me that it will end eventually and worse things will soon take place.

I remember this memory often, especially when I’m feeling down. I hold on to it to remind myself that even if things don’t go well right now, even if I can’t see the end of the tunnel yet, one day I will get out of this shit hole and maybe, just maybe, I’ll have the chance to feel that carefree again.