I always thought that I was good at being alone, how easy it was to enjoy spending time with myself. No interaction with people for days? No problem. Being M.I.A and not having to reach out to people? Hell yeah!
But then the pandemic happened and here I am, longing to meet my friends in person and hug them.
I guess I’m not that anti-social as I thought I was. LOL.
Does this suddenly make me an outgoing person though? Also not.
I’m still the same person who tends to be quiet when meeting new people or being in a new environment. But once I get comfortable, I’ll crack jokes a lot. Because of this, most people who just met me always say that I look mean hahaha. Blame my resting bitch face!
I’d still rather walk away from the spotlight than have people’s eyes on me.
I still like to keep my emotions to myself, which I know it’s not healthy, but I’m getting better at opening up to people. I guess I’m just afraid to be seen as vulnerable even though there’s nothing wrong with it. On the contrary, it’s actually quite powerful.
When I do feel emotions arise though, I tend to hold my behavior collected. Maybe this is why many of my friends see me as a ~calm~ person when deep down I lowkey freak out.
I’m also still the same person who likes to spend time with myself, but it took a global pandemic to make me FINALLY realize that too much time doing that could really drive you crazy.
…Because it’s just scary to be left alone with your own thoughts for a long time.
(P.S: It's been too long since I wrote for my own pleasure, so this #30DaysWritingChallenge is a good reason for me to try my shot at writing again. Fingers crossed I can be consistent this time. Wish me luck!)
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