Day 29 - My Goals for the Future

You know when you’re in a job interview sometimes the interviewer will ask you a question that goes like this, “How do you see yourself in five years?”

I’m that kind of person who always, always finds that question hard to answer. I mean, I can barely decide what I’ll have for lunch or dinner, let alone my life goals in the next five years. I guess I’m more of a “living it day-by-day”, “rolling-with-the-punches” kind of person.

Of course, I still want this and that, like building my dream house at a certain age, starting a sustainable business, or getting married and starting a family eventually. But, see, how much control do we have over that list? It’s very limited, tiny even. All we can do is just work our asses off, pray hard, and then surrender. Does that mean we will automatically get the end result that we want? Some people do, some others don’t. And we don’t know which side we will end up on. It’s terrifying.

There are just too many unknown variables thrown into the mix, some of them don’t even add up but still happen anyway. Things beyond our control happen. Life just happens. You can’t control everything, remember? One day you’re so sure you’re walking on the right path towards your goal, but the next day life decides to throw a stone on the road you’re taking. You trip over it and the next thing you know your life has never been the same again.

Then at some point, fighting over it just becomes too exhausting.

So, instead of a goal, I think I just hope to be content with who I’ll become, what I’ll have, and wherever I’ll be in life. When there comes a time for me to get married and build a family, let me do it with a content state of being. But if it’s still the time for me to focus on myself first, I hope I’ll do it wholeheartedly. Or when there comes a time for me to build a house, travel around the world, get a new job—whatever it is life will throw my way, let me be content with it.

Because right now, I don’t think I am. Yet.

Contentment isn’t supposed to make me constantly question myself whether I've made the right decisions and wish things were different. The good thing is that being content is something I can continually work towards. I just hope it won’t take too long for me to get there. And I wish you the same too.