Monday, January 1, 2018

A Simple New Year Resolution

Not all people can easily open up about their problems. Some are scared. Some find it very uncomfortable. Some are afraid to appear as an attention-seeker. Some don't want to become a burden to other people. And I'm sure there are still many other reasons I couldn't think of.

So they choose to bottle things up.

I choose to bottle things up.

When things get much uglier, I even tend to push people away. I just.... don't want anyone to know about my struggles. I don't want people to think I'm not capable of handling things on my own. I don't want them see me as a girl who uses her problems to get attention. So I put up a good facade. And somehow it works, I guess. One of my good friends even said that I look so composed, like I have my life all figured it out.

God, if only she knew.

But now I am emotionally exhausted. I'm afraid if I don't start sharing about what's going on in my head, I'll lose myself. I'll lose my sanity. I'll explode. And I don't want that to happen. The good news is that I know my family and friends would like to help if I talked to them. That's why in 2018, I hope I have more courage to open up to people and seek supports from them. I know I'm not alone, I'll just have to try harder to reach out more. I'm not saying it's gonna be easy, but it's worth to try.

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